The first put-down may target a child's haircut. The next time it might be about his weight. The third time it might be taunting about family background. As harassment and hurtful behaviors increase, a child's self-efficacy diminishes and the potential for violence grows.

Recognizing the need to do something about the problem of peer intimidation, experts around the country are calling for schools to implement zero-tolerance for bullying. But many of these programs, said Ava de la Sota, health educator at Corinne A. Seeds University Elementary School (UES), have been developed in reaction to crisis rather than out of reflection and are therefore unlikely to provide long-term benefits.

"Creating lasting benefits requires a change in culture, a change in the way a school functions," de la Sota explained. "It's not enough to create new rules. We also need to take the time to listen to students and to use incidents of harassment as opportunities for education."

This philosophy forms the foundation of a comprehensive method, which is educational rather than punitive, for the Safe School approach that de la Sota, her colleagues and UCLA researchers have been developing at UES over the past four years.

"When we began, it was not out of fear or in reaction to any outside school crisis, but out of love for our own students," de la Sota said. "It became clear that too many students were struggling and needed strategies to help them cope with the escalating stress in their social interactions."

Under the guidelines, any kind of taunt with attempt to hurt is unacceptable, no matter whether it ridicules a student's academic or athletic ability, appearance, culture, religion, economic or family background, or whether it constitutes sexual harassment of any type, including gender stereotypes and homophobic taunts.

Violations are viewed as opportunities for learning. Children are encouraged to listen to multiple perspectives on a given incident and to express their own views. They are then helped to mediate a resolution that gives them replacement behaviors for similar problems in the future. Thus, teachable moments can become lifelong lessons.

"It is this response system that makes our program different," de la Sota said.

To help children develop a toolbox of replacement skills, de la Sota and her colleagues have children practice assertive behaviors, face-saving one-liners and other forms of role-playing to help them strategize in advance of incidents. "Research shows that teenagers will stay present and put themselves at risk rather than lose friends," she said. "We believe that if we teach children at an early age how to deal with a situation in a way that saves face, we can help to save lives."

Adjunct Associate Professor of psychology and RAND researcher Jaana Juvonen has evaluated the work of the UES educators and measured its effect on children's attitudes, their behaviors and the emotional climate at the school. UES Safe School is not a separate program, she said, but a way of life.

Both she and de la Sota emphasize that the work is evolving. Instruction is adapted to suit specific situations. Next, they are looking to test the system in other schools in Los Angeles.

Perhaps the essence of the Safe School system is best captured by the young child who transferred from another school.

"UES has ears," the new student said.

Taking the time to truly listen to children and to teach them a repertoire of strategies for coping with escalating situations can go a long way toward creating a safer future for all, de la Sota said.