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Facing life in the face of illness

Every year, some 1.3 million Americans die from heart diseases, cancer and chronic respiratory disorders, accounting for nearly 60% of all deaths nationwide. In many cases, it’s the elderly who die after years of suffering shared with family members, relatives and friends. Coping with the trauma of disease and the death of loved ones can therefore be one of life’s most useful lessons. To advise employees on how to face these problems, the UCLA Staff and Faculty Counseling Center launched a lecture series on April 6. “Eldercare and Aging: A Learn-At-Lunch Series” is aimed at helping staff and faculty care for the aged as well as plan for their own aging. This is the first in a three-part series of articles based on the lectures.

In caring for a chronically ill family member, relatives need to try to maintain or restore “a sense of wholeness in the face of illness,” said a campus psychologist, who has been counseling cancer patients and their families for the past 25 years.

Chronic illness “throws us into a whole new world, which is the medical system,” said Anne Coscarelli, director of the Ted Mann Family Resources Center, part of the Jonsson Comprehensive Cancer Center. Besides hospitalizations and medical procedures, patients have to cope with stressful medical appointments and the complexities of health insurance, not to mention treatments and their side effects.

Coscarelli showed video footage of a middle-aged man who recounted that he had never felt more “horrifying fear” in his life than when he learned that his wife had been diagnosed with cancer. “Faith had to kick in for me to get through this,” he said. “But I was in such anger and shock that I couldn’t even pray.” Fortunately, he added, “everyone was praying for us.”

Grief, depression, loss of self-esteem and anxiety about death are just a few among a host of stressful factors that intrude on patients’ lives. Both they and their near and dear ones find their psychological well-being and social networks disrupted amid a sense of sadness that comes from what Coscarelli called “the miracle of normalcy.” Faced with bewildering existential and spiritual questions, they wonder how to make the most of the time they have left together.

Yet, paradoxically, chronic illness offers opportunities for rapid psychological growth. “The more traumatic the event, the greater the psychological benefits,” Coscarelli said. Families grow closer and learn to focus on life’s essentials instead of wasting time venting anger and arguing.

Caregivers experience surprisingly positive outcomes — about 70% discover an inner strength they didn’t know they had, and 36% find themselves in a closer relationship with the person they’re helping.

In the May 10 issue of UCLA Today, this column will focus on long-term care coverage. For more information, call the Staff and Faculty Counseling Center at (310) 794-0245.

— Ajay Singh