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Photography by Reed Hutchinson UCLA Photographic Services UCLA Store buyer Monica Leahy (center), who volunteers as a Los Angeles County deputy commissioner of civil ceremonies, marries Esmeralda Farias and Carlos Hernandez.

After Hours - The Marriage-Maker

If you have a June wedding planned, you’ve still got time. No, not to run away but to talk to relationship expert Monica Mendez Leahy, the subject of this installment of “After Hours.” A UCLA Store employee for the past five years, Leahy is the author of “1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married” (McGraw-Hill, 2004). She also performs marriage ceremonies as a volunteer with the Los Angeles County Registrar Recorder and leads relationship-training workshops.

NAME: Monica Mendez Leahy
TITLE: Sportswear buyer, UCLA Store

SECOND CAREER: Relationship expert, author, volunteer deputy commissioner of civil ceremonies

HOW DID YOU GET STARTED? I’ve always been interested in human behavior and relationships, so I’m just drawn to doing what I can to help people achieve that. I’ve been blessed growing up in a happy home. My parents are still married, and divorce isn’t common in my entire extended family.

WHAT WAS YOUR TRAINING? I worked in a bridal store. It was what I call my field study.

WHY SHOULD SOMEONE READ “1001 QUESTIONS”? Before you seriously start to think about making a life for yourself with someone, you have to know what’s important to you. What’s your vision in life, and is this person going to assist you in getting there or be an obstacle? Does the person have a dream, and are you going to help them or be an obstacle? One of the things stated in the book is that there is no such thing as a right or a wrong answer. You feel the way you feel. It’s about self-discovery.

HOW IS “1001 QUESTIONS” SELLING? It’s going to be translated into four languages — Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Spanish. I had no idea it would do so well.

WHAT’S “RELATIONSHIP TRAINING”? I cover all the areas that are most important: children, money (which is the number one thing we all fight about), future plans, spirituality. We talk about real-life examples, and it gives people food for thought. If a pipe breaks in the middle of the night, who’s going to call the plumber? People think these things don’t make a difference in a relationship, but they do.

ARE YOU LICENSED TO DO THIS? One of the first things I say in my classes is, “I’m not a counselor and this is not therapy.” What I’m doing is telling them things based on my own experiences and my own research. I’m not just shooting from the hip.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PART OF DOING MARRIAGES? The license that I sign has their name and background, where they were born, where their parents were born, their occupation. So you have this postcard-size view into people’s lives. You can only guess how they met. It just amazes me that people from opposite ends of the earth got together. I’ve married Japanese to Germans, Ecuadorians to Malaysians. I take a picture of every couple. I’m going to put them in an album.

HOW DOES THAT OATH GO? “By the power given to me as deputy commissioner of civil ceremonies, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

WHAT DO THEY DO THEN? Only 10% of them ever kiss! I was expecting all of them to lunge at each other, but no.

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL WITH MATRIMONY? There’s a tremendous amount of evidence that people who marry are happier, they’re healthier, they live longer, their children are happier. They have less road rage, fewer heart attacks, they miss less time at work. It’s just better for society, and it’s better for the world.

BUT HALF OF MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE . . . If they get “1001 Questions,” even though it’s after the fact, it will help.

ARE YOU MARRIED? It’ll be 10 years next month. The funny thing is, we both went to ’SC.